08 January 2006

Out Here On My Own

Sometimes I wonder
Where I've been
Who I am, do I fit in?
Make-believing is hard alone
Out here, on my own

We're always proving
Who we are
Always reaching
For that rising star
To guide me far
And shine me home
Out here on my own

A character from the movie fame exclaims this sentiment as do I.
The transition from complete student to professional is going well everyday, and all I can ask myself everyday is, "Do I really belong." As I lift my voice to sing heavens praises and some of earths for five hours daily, but never on Sunday, I realize that I am in a new league. I am in a new league, but I am never changing the game. I have always stepped up to the plat as nothing more than a professional.

I have met new people that live their own lives that are disconnected from mine and the show that we do. I have to examine folks' personalities, and their attitude adjustments. I am all about trying to see this thing go real far.

I chose the song Out Here On My Own because this is a culture shock for me. This is just as comparable as me leaving the shelter of NYC for the first time. This time it's the other way around and I am leaving the place which I hibernated for 10 years only to find that the worlds are really different from north to south.

I am usually one that says that I do not welcome change. I guess, I have to have admit that this is one time when change has been welcomed but with a retractable arm. I have learned to live here with others around me, but not yet really had the chance to give myself a moment until today.

This is a new and buoyant feeling. I wake up each morning energized as I get ready for the workout with the PT. Then I make my way across town to learn the tricks of this new game I am playing and then off to the races I go.

Who knew that I would be so happy. I think all the years of learning how to explore myself without killing myself really helped. So, if you see me walking down the street and I am singing to myself, just stop me and say, Divo, how is it, out here on your own?

I may have a song to sing back to you and the song goes like.... Hm hm hm hm hm....

That is for a later post....
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