27 October 2005

Last Night I Had an Epiphany.....

Last night I had an Epiphany.

While I was talking to a friend that I have recently met. It dawned on me that people do really enjoy being a part of my life and I need not take it for granted that people care.

Recently, as I may have stated before, I have had a feeling of being inadequate to give and receive affection. I have recently had people that have disclosed to me their deeper feelings and I am glad. I had to draw it from them. In their words " I would rather show you how I feel in my daily actions, than to tell you and not live it."

With this I have a brother in my life that I can invite into my personal space, my inner sanctuary. He is a gem, I love being in his presence, and I love that we do not have to label something. Especially because we have not shared anything sexual, and have no current intentions to do so. He is just comfortable in my presence and I admire that.

We had an issue last week. After a long evening of cuddling, where I escaped my world of a thousand duties, I had to return to it, but, I was going to be late. We shared a very intimate two times, and I felt that he would misconstrue my intentions. Well, the next day he kind of flipped scripts on me, and told me that he was not ready to be in a relationship with me.

Well, needless to say we had a weird week since his disclosure of that information. But last night "We" had an epiphany, that we both enjoyed each others company, and that was the nature of our relationship. Not to be misunderstood for a commitment of exclusive dating. Hey, we are friends that can be there for one another. He compliments my sanctuary, and I balance him too. We are just cool like that.

We have vowed to each other to take things one day at a time. I also know that he is proned to wander to a female for refuge too. But, I am secure in our relationship because of the foundation that we are laying now. If we ever have any feelings beyond the platonic arrangement we have now, we are to be completely honest with one another.

I am writing this as a reminder to myself to accept what is natural, and not to force what is not for me to see yet.

No man can see the future, but, how we cherish our present dictates how to appreciate the gift of the future.

Ashe to my Santuary!!!!


Anonymous Bernie said...

Sometimes the spiritual and emotional intimacy you share with someone is more important than anything physical. It is great that you have found someone with whom you can be so close.

9:22 AM  
Blogger BuddahDesmond said...

I enjoyed reading this post. I think it's wonderful when two people can be connected on levels that go beyond the flesh. It's great that you have that understanding, that level of closeness, and that there's no pressure. It's a very unique relationship to have in these times. One that should be cherished.

"No man can see the future, but, how we cherish our present dictates how to appreciate the gift of the future." -- Something to live by.

Very nice blog by the way!

3:47 AM  
Blogger P. Alonzo Harris Jr. said...

hey mister..

its been a while since i have posted on your blog...

it warms my hear to hear that you are have great experiences with this gentlemen...i hope it continues to work out and you both continue to compliment each other...as more brothers need to do and know that sex doesn't have to be a factor for intimacy to take place....

3:30 PM  
Blogger ShawnQt said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:01 PM  
Blogger ShawnQt said...

I beleive APPRECIATION is the second best thing to LOVE.

11:01 PM  
Blogger fratman1906 said...

I certainly think that the physical intimacy should come later in the relationship/friendship rather than up front. Building a solid foundation through getting to know each other spiritually is prelude to the achieving of a physical bond. Doing it the other way around is an inverted pyramid with too much weight upfront. Shem hotep.

9:21 PM  
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