03 June 2005

The Circle of Life

From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done

There is far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling highThrough the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round

It's the circle of life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the circle
The circle of life


It's 7:52pm and the curtain is set to rise in eight minutes. Knowing the theater they usually make their final announcement at about 8:05pm. I am very gitty. I have waited for this moment for a very long time.

See last year about this time I did some promotional singing for the production of The Lion King. We were promised tickets to the Baltimore show and somehow never heard anything else about it. Well, on Tuesday after my long nap after my Monday slumber from my long weekend in the Big Apple, I got a call saying "Kenny, do you want to go and see the Lion King on Thursday?". I suddenly erected my body from the sacred slumber that I was in and said "Sure !"

I was not prepared fully for the experiance that I had this evening. The scenery, lighting, costumes, choreography, precision, story line, special effects, all had me spellbound.

I have seen a couple of Broadway favorites, but this will go down in history for me for days and years to come.

The more I thought about the lyrics to Circle of Life, is the more I became enchanted with how it has so much to do with my personal life story.

So finally here it goes so bear with me.

I equate the beginning of the song to the beginning of my matriculation at Morgan. There was so much to see and so much to do, and I wanted to do it all and for the most part I did.

I mean I got there and I was away from parents, old friends, inhabitions. It was time to have fun.

Long story short, all my fun led to what should have been disaster.

I found out my Sophomore year that I was HIV+. Some of you may say "Darn, that must have been hard." Well, yeah in a simple form but there is more that makes this story glorious.


The song goes on to say:

There is far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high

Through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round


Well I had to find myself, through a couple of years. I thought all was good. Bam, in the middle of my last 3 semesters, I found out that I had PCP Pnuemonia and Regular Pnuemonia. I should have been taken out but I wasn't. The thought of being disassembled for 6 months was frightening. I wasn't even able to lift my voice in song for about 3 months. I was devistated.

However, I found some peace in knowing that it all happend for a reason. I mean, I had never had the experiance of being in the hospital, ever. I had always had good things going for me with a reasonable struggle. But now, I would have to rely on others strength to rehabilitate me.

The fact that I am in school pursuing my degree is a miracle. A fluke accident. I didn't have the money. Aid wasn't rolling in. All of my scholarships had dried up and it didn't seem as if I would make it.

Somewhere along this 6 - 12 month rehabilitation, I was liberated. I was able to secure housing, get disability, have a part time job, pay off my defaulted loans (into repayment), re-secure my scholarship, recieve in-state status for tuition purposes, recieve a hefty refund for my semester, recieve a 3.5 semester average the first semester, finish 2.9 semester average the second and now I am tackling Physics with 12 credit hours to go.

It is truly the Circle of Life. I was led today to embrace the movement of that circle on my life. I usually try to illuminate that to the others that I am in contact with. Am I finish with struggle? Probably not. Will I have my days? Well, of course. But the Circle is what keeps me grounded.

Side bar to Trent * Now I am being Deep*

I don't expect pity. I have learned to live up to my mistakes. I have learned from them and made them my footstool.

One other group of lyrics that has me in tears right now: From The Lion King.

Shadowland

Chorus:
And where the journey may lead you
Let this prayer be your guide
Though it may take you so far away
Always remember your pride

As always in Parting,

I came in Peace and I leave you in Solemnity.

5 Comments:

Blogger Valentino said...

Now THAT is inspiring!! I've been wanting to see The Lion King for years, but none of my friends are into it. Imma just go alone dammit!

8:55 PM  
Blogger Frank León Roberts said...

Very brave, rich,and beautiful prose. It's truly insipiring. Thanks for it. And shit, I'll never think of DISNEY the same way!

9:02 PM  
Blogger Quaheem said...

What an inspiring and heart felt post man...When you hear about some of the stuff that others have to go thru and deal with it and OVERCOME really helps put one's life into perspective...keep sharing your story and your light man..cuz believe me it not only helps YOU but it helps others make it thru as well...

2:20 PM  
Blogger prodigalsun said...

Wow... that was deep. I just saw the lion king on broadway in the beginning of may... and I am with you, its a phenomenal experience. It was beautiful, the theatrics, the setting, the costumes, the voices... just absolutely phenomenal.

I felt very connected as I watched it. I mean, its a disney musical, but the african influence is clearly evident. It was soulful, and you feel a sense of pride in who you are as you watch it.

Dont know if that made sense, but that was my experience with lion king.

1:06 PM  
Blogger Trent Jackson said...

We have to chat a little more about this

2:09 PM  

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